Friday, June 12, 2015

Lately a lot of conversations I have been having are based around emotions and expressing them in a healthy manner or even just being able to fully feel them. Some emotions can be so difficult for me to express, like anger, love or excitement. I often feel embarrassment for what I am feeling and look to the faces I'm sitting with to confirm my embarrassment. An awkward comment usually slips from my mouth to cover up my true emotions, assuring those I am with that I am fine. For someone who loves to feel every emotion, every lyric to a song, every sentimental story, I'm sure not good at talking about my feelings.  

These insecurities can sometimes lead to tears that drape the corners of my eyes, to my voice quivering and to anxiety building, all out of frustration. It is frustrating because emotions are such a gift to convey our truer selves, to connect and communicate; yet I can't always find the courage to do so. It can be hard granting myself permission to fully feel and express my emotions. There can be threats and consequences if I speak my mind, fear, blame and disconnection from those around me. It is terrifying to feel like you don't have control over circumstances in your life let alone your own emotions.

I am currently reading a book on shame titled, I thought it was just me (but it isn't) by Dr. Brene Brown. In the book she says,  "In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant "to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." The most effective way to overcome these feelings of inadequacy is to share our experiences. What comes from the inside of us is a very human need to belong, to relate."

I am learning there is value in being unapologetic for what I am feeling by having the courage to look someone in the eyes and share what's in my heart. 


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