“Hapiness can only be found if you can free yourself of all other distractions.” -Saul Bellow

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

When I was small I played hard. From sun up to as close as I could get to sundown, of course my case had to hold weight in the court of the parentals. I would dig my hands into the dirt, create trails to a remote place to build a fort, steal apples from the neighbors yard, and grab willow branches to whip my bike that magically turned into a chariot and horse. Life was pretty grand, no worries...until my mom would point me in the direction of the shower.

I loathed the shower. It felt like the shower stole away valuable playtime. I would try to play as far away from the house as I could, in hopes of not hearing my mom call for me to come inside. My hearing did "fail" me a couple times, but that never helped the situation either.

I would try and trick my mom by turning on the shower, for what I thought, was a reasonable amount of time, but never actually stepping foot inside it. I would rush to the door hoping my mom would rely solely on the sound of the shower to verify that I had done the deed of showering.
I always got sent back, but I always believed I was getting wiser...This time I would stick my head under the sink, dampening my hair, but not realizing the bottom layer was still dry as ever.
As soon as I emerged a finger would be pointing me back.
Eventually I would break down, relentlessly take each item of clothing off and step into the very thing I had tried so hard to avoid.

These days I like showers a bit more. I didn’t see the value as a kid; I wanted to be swept up in the day. I still want to experience that in life but I see value in a shower besides the obvious fact of hygiene; it's a place to escape from everything else in the world, all the distractions. It's a place to go that no one else will follow you, unless invited. It's just you, standing naked, hot water mechanically hitting the back of your head, face tilted to stare down at your body as water cascades down creating a bubble around your head. There I am left to think. To wipe my pruny hands over my face as they move down my chest and arms, attempting to hold this moment of thought. Unsure of the thoughts that will rush in, ones that have been hiding by the days distractions.
No avoiding, no rushing to meet the world, just standing there, me, my pruny hands and feet. 


  1. I like that you always title your posts with a quote. They make me think and I like that. This one especially. Thanks Kate! Love you!

    1. Thanks Tina! :) I just love quotes and I feel like they can really get a point across in few words which I tend to struggle with. Love you too!!

  2. "It's just you, standing naked, hot water mechanically hitting the back of your head, face tilted to stare down at your body as water cascades down..." love this.


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