Some of my Favorite Ellen moments.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Disclaimer: I think these videos are really funny, but you might not.
BUT I challenge you to watch at least one of these videos. I know videos take a long time...
but they will  be worth your time....If you value laughing and being happy at all.

my relationship with sugar

Monday, October 29, 2012

I am addicted to sugar.
If I could live off of it and not go into a sugar coma, I would seriously consider only eating sugar. (although I do love my veggies)
The only thing that scares me about sugar is that I might get diabetes.
Sometimes I start to believe that I have the signs of being pre-diabetic.
My mom is probably freaking out reading this... She is always trying to convince me to cut sugar out of my life.
But that would be like cutting friends out of my life, impossible.

Pumpkin Patch

Cooking an Indian Meal


Friday, October 26, 2012

Why do we follow social "norms"?
Why feel the pressure?
I am so fed up with what society tells us is ok and what is not.
Maybe this is selfish of me, but I want to do whatever I want.
I don't care what rules I am supposed to follow or about how I am expected to act.
All I really want to do is be friends with who ever I want.
I want to dress the way I want.
Who cares if I want to wear my jean shirt 3 days in a row or wear blue and grey stripes with pink tights and cheetah print shoes?!
So what if I spend money on bobba 2 days in a row.
What is going to happen to me if I am late for something?!..
Saying no and being more blunt has never felt so good.
Sometimes being selfish can feel careless, unacceptable, crummy.
You are allowed to be selfish as long as you are not hurting those around you.
No one should care.
As long as I know the direction I want to go...being a good person, and the person I want to be true to... myself.

Why has this taken me so long to figure out?


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I hate being embarrassed. I wish I could say that I never get embarrassed. That I am someone who can take awkward situations and talk/act my way out of them. That I could come up with something witty in response to what is happening. Instead, I turn bright red and my face starts to burn up. If I got a half dollar for every time I got embarrassed I am pretty sure I would be able to pay off all my school debt.

A girl in my class today shared a really embarrassing story about the first time she started her period. I thought to myself, "Oh my word why are you telling the whole class this story about you starting your period in front of an audience?!" You know those stories where you grit your teeth listening to it and you get embarrassed for them? Ya this was one of those stories.

I started to think back on some of my most embarrassing moments and I started to laugh and some made me cringe.

Like the time I farted in 5th grade.... The whole class decided to be quiet right at the moment I let my fart slip from my butt checks. I pinched hard trying to keep it in, but it just vibrated off of the chair and made a high pitch squeek.

I even reflected upon the time when I started my period on christmas day. I was at my aunts house and need a pad asap. I told my mom to ask my aunt for one because I was to embarrassed to ask myself.  My aunt got the pad, but as she walked down the stairs she announced to the whole living room full of family and friends, "Teri here is your pad!" my mom took the teasing my aunt gave her, but then gave it to me. I felt like the whole room knew that I had started and it was so obvious that it wasn't for my mom.

Another time I was in a living room with some people I didn't really know all that well. One boy decided to tell me that I smelled like poop. I assured him that I didn't... but he just kept pressing the issue that I did. Then everyone was trying to decide if I smelled like poop or not. embarrassing.

Mistaking someone else for your parent is always a hard one. One time at a Doug Bachelor seminar  thing, I wasn't feeling good. I decided to go find my dad in the dark room, I thought I had spotted him so I went and sat next to him and put my head on his shoulder and proceeded to tell him that I didn't feel well. The man then asked me "Do you want me to help you find your dad?" I stood up and left quickly and couldn't look at the guy for weeks. awkward.

I have to use the restroom a lot, so I think that I am pretty familiar with where restrooms are in a store. I was in Wal-Mart and assumed that the girls restroom was always on the right.... wrong. I walked right into the mens restroom and saw a man peeing. I immediately turned around and left to find an audience laughing at me as I came out.

These moments now make me laugh and slightly cringe.
There will be more embarrassing moments to come, but I am ok with that.
I will never be smooth with awkward/embarrassing situations.
Instead I soak in the embarrassment and awkwardness, and in the end somehow it works for me.

The color I turn

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Monday, October 22, 2012

Sometimes being true to yourself is a real pain.
I get so confused sometimes on exactly what self is actually true.
which one is right? which one do you follow? How do you know which instinct your are acting on?

Is it is...
Heart or gut
Fear or knowing
Mind or heart
Certainty or uncertainty
Contentment or laziness
Avoidance or courage
I don't think you can really ever know which one is "right" if there is even a "right" one. 
I am just going to keep on truckin', making mistakes along the way and hopefully correcting them as I go. 
Nothing is perfect. 
But thats the beauty, thats how lessons are learned. 
I want to learn by doing, not by being worried about making the wrong choice.
Just make a choice, learn from it, cope with it, fix it if it doesn't feel right, and just keep living.

live life and experience ALL it has to offer.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

One time my dad and I were playing catch in the backyard. I was probably about 10 years old.
I remember feeling like I was getting really good at catching.
I felt like I was catching "fast balls."
I wanted to be better than my dad and show him how good I was.
So I said to my dad, "DAD throw the ball as fast and hard at me as you can!!!"
I had all the confidence that I could catch that ball.
My dad looked at me and said "are you sure?!"
I replied "YES! please?!"
So my dad took the ball and threw it as fast as he could right towards my glove.
It didn't hit my glove.
It hit my stomach!
I remember falling over and getting the worst pain in my stomach and feeling like I could not get enough air.
My mom immediately came out of the house and scolded my dad for hurting me.
My dad felt pretty awful, and said he didn't even throw it with all his strength or speed.
I am pretty sure my stomach would have disagreed.
I still like to play catch.

compete with me.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I like competition, but only in certain things... sports is a big one.
I blame this on my dad.... Even when I was like 6 and could barely dribble a basketball he would steal the ball and make shots. No mercy.
Usually I get all worked up when playing a game and have to calm myself down.
The funny thing is, that is what I hate in other people, competitiveness.
I hate it when other people take it too seriously or get mad at you for being in the "wrong" position.
I am not really a competitive person in any other aspect of my life.
I think competition is good but only to a certain point... once your competitiveness gets in the way of you having fun its time to take a break and breath. Think about whats more important the competition or just simply enjoying what you are doing.
I have had many times where I am playing a game and let my competitiveness get in the way of enjoying who I am spending time with or the activity that I enjoy so much.
I can't take the competitiveness out of me, but there is a balance I am finding.

Compete with me.
Satisfy my need for competition.
Energy high and wild.
Smack talk flying.
Talk your trash talk,
fueling my fire inside.
Challenge and push me.
Try to keep up.
Don't slow down.
I won't give up.
I won't give in.
This game is going to be different.
but when the game is done,
all words said are forgotten.
Bruises are iced.
Egos are restored with time.
It's all in good nature.
Compete with me.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C.S. Lewis

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Our nature is to survive.
We will do just about anything to make sure this happens.
Since the time we were born we have an instinct to survive.
When we were just babies our survival technique was to attach to a caregiver.
As we grow older we rely more on ourselves.
It can be tough relying only on yourself.
But we usually can find ways to adapt and survive.
Its our nature.


"All species capable of grasping this fact manage better in the struggle
 for existence than those which rely upon their own strength alone:
 the wolf, which hunts in a pack, 
has a greater chance of survival than the lion, 
which hunts alone."
-Christian Lous Lange

"Worry Why Should I Care?"

Monday, October 15, 2012

"Make friends with what you are."

7&8 iron, thats all i have.

Today I got to watch little kids play for my schoolwork.
2-4 year old have it all figured out when it comes to playing.
Smarty pants.
They don't choose who they want to play with... they choose what activity they want to do.
Seems like an obvious way to play right?
Well, I think as we grow older we choose activities sometimes based off of what other people do.
The tiny’s do not.
It doesn't matter who they are playing with as long as they are doing something they enjoy.
I have recently picked up the hobby of golfing. It is something that is challenging and yet really relaxing. I can do it by myself, with a friend or a family member.
It has been easy for me in the past to loose sight of the activity I am doing and get frustrated, instead of just enjoying it.
Being able to let go of the frustrating things that happen in a day and just being present in what I am doing has really felt good.
Golfing is an activity that I enjoy purely for the activity itself, not for the people. (although people are a bonus and great encourager's.)
I love most things I try, but I let daily things get in the way of me enjoying them. No more.
I feel like I am finding more activities that give me pure joy in just doing them, because that is what I want to do.
Kid Goggles once again.

Coach Dad

Dad and I at the driving range

Cyndi teaching me a thing or two.

My golf Coaches

Me and my two coaches, Cyndi and Britt. 


Saturday, October 13, 2012

More crafts = more complete home

drift away

A feather floated down and caught a ride on my windshield today.
I didn't mind giving it a ride.
I actually enjoyed looking at it and wondering what bird was missing its feather. It was a petite feather which makes me think it was a petite bird or baby bird. It was a soft grey with delicate edges.
I feel like that bird could use that feather since it has decided to become fall down in SoCal.
The bird probably doesn't even know or miss the once attached feather.
It's odd how you can think something is so important, but then when it is gone you don't even realize it. It is only when you see something familiar or find it, that you realize it was even missing.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Storms give me a certain urge for things. So tonight I indulged in those things...

First I went to a coffee shop and had a nice warm chai. I love coffee shops especially when the rain is pouring down outside, making clangs and deep thumps against the patio umbrellas and metal side rails.
Then I went to the Drayson Center and hot tubbed followed by the sauna.
I crawled into my favorite soft sweat pants and my striped baggy sweater. ( I love anything with stripes.)
My stomach by that time was real hungry.
So, I indulged in my new favorite meal, pear provolone turkey panini, kale, and tomato soup.
Followed it up with a nice cookies and creme skinny cow ice cream sandwhich.
I then watched an episode of office while sipping on some nice mint tea.
Now I am lying in my comfy bed relaxing.
Everything I did tonight was exactly what I wanted to do on a stormy/cold night.

My delicious dinner

Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can. -Elsa Maxwell

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

When I was little I thought I was going to be a songwriter/singer for a short amount of time, along with a choreographer, ice skater, Olympian, doctor and preacher.

Sometimes I find myself writing my own song lyrics. I usually have the same familiar tune and the small range in which I am capable of singing (if you can even call it singing) note: I don't do this around anyone, only when I want to live my childhood dream of being a singer. Most of the time I don't even realize I am making up my own song until I have 2 or 3 lines and a catchy chorus that I keep repeating to the same old tune. A couple days ago, I found myself composing my own song and I started to laugh to myself because of my catchy, yet ridiculous lyric....

"I once fell for a boy with no car."

It feels so good to be able to laugh with yourself and at yourself.
I think I might have a hit...


Sunday, October 7, 2012

My hands have a tendency to knock things over. It's almost a guarantee if I am sitting at a table and there is a full glass in front of me, I will knock it over. When I was younger, this really bothered me. I would get so embarrassed and feel so clumsy. If you look closely at me you can almost always find some sort of stain on my shirt or pants. I had a friend who told me I was going to be the worst mom because I was not going to be able to pour my kids orange juice in the morning. I almost believed what she told me. Now I look back and laugh. Maybe I won't even serve my kids orange juice in the morning, or maybe I will and just pick up the mess after.
The stains on my shirt and pants are just reminders of a good meal I ate.
I am continuing to learn that things don't have to be or appear perfect to be enjoyable.
It’s the imperfect moments that make us real and reachable.


“So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly."

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love`

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